Weddings

It's really amusing to know that some couples really couldnt care less about the once-in-a-lifetime weddings. Last saturday, i played for the wedding of an unknown couple- I say unknown because I didn't meet them and the arrangements were made via phone.

The choir master gave the bride my number and she called me on the THURSDAY before her wedding just to check 'if I was coming'-how unbelievable! No mention of a practice or a rehersal, and when I asked her if the little prayers were to be sung or said, she merely retorted, "Up to you lah..what do you think?"

I was expecting at least three people to be seated at the choir to lead, so imagine my surprise when there was NO ONE at the choir benches! They picked fairly modern hymns when those attending the ceremony were either old and didnt know the song, or mute yuppies who probably thought that it was 'way uncool' to sing a churchy song. In the end, yours truly had her own little concert-she played and sang her tormented chest to breathlessness.

Makes you wonder what exactly is in their wedding planner, doesnt it? Must be the menu for lavish feast and picking outfits to wear for the six different changes over a 2 hour dinner...God'll be there during the church part and see to all.

Btw, even at the wedding, I never saw the bride and the groom coz i was trumpeting Wagner's and Mendelssohn's, and she was hidden behind the veil when i was not doing anything..

I filled the rest of my Saturday picking concert pieces for my students and swimming in an empty Olympic sized pool- I could only make half a lap and back over and over coz I'm bloody terrified of the deep end (yes, I'm a qualified swimmer but the deep waters still get to me, okay!)
It was so embarassing coz there were three KIDS in the pool who swam all the way, and I peeked from underwater to see the distance between their toe and the floor of the pool-I was shamed, nuff said!

Went out with Sumi, Yogi and Rach to Hemingway's at night- had a good time (which I really, really needed) but I was constantly checking my phone for missed calls or messages, got none! Should have just left the damned thing at home.

So tell me, what's wrong with Klang?

I'm from Klang.
Yes, Klang.
K.L.A.N.G.
My postal code reads 41100.
what the f*ck is wrong in that?Nothing? Then why are you sniggering?

When did Klang become 'the place to be' for the social outcasts? That's what I wanna know.And it's not Kelang, puh-lease!It's Klang (as how the lang is Slang is sounded, not any other uncool way)

Okay, so we do have a couple of badhats who accasionally create a ruckus when the dullness of night gets a lil bit dreary. How often does your town make headlines? Having the cleanest taman or zero wabak occurence is not newsworthy-that's stuff for boring yearly reports when the local council get together for their review 'meeting'!

How can you not fall in love with the captivating colours that line our streets when darkness falls? Or the blaring Thottijaya tracks from Mano's Audio and Video on Rembau Street that proves just how much the Indians love their culture?

Or the assurance of the lorry driver's cat calls (or rat calls) that at least one person thinks you're hot.

Where else can you find an eatery like that of Gama, where night/morning dwellers and rhodents dine in perfect harmony, whetting their appetite in the comforting knowledge that they're not alone? Obliging to the unsaid truth that food doesn't taste the same for both without each other.

I lived in Mentakab for 11 years, in Penang for 3, spent my hols in East Malaysia and extensively visited relatives in the coastal areas of the east and west of the Peninsula. But nowhere else taught me the virtue of patience like Klang has.

With every road accessorized with at least one pothole, my car has gained added endurance. I'm heartened knowing that my wheels can take me anywhere and everywhere. However hidden the short cuts are, I have mastered it. Like the acne scars on my face, each hole has its own story to tell.

If the Planning Dept of the MPK needs a recruit, hiring me will be by far their best investment.
A coolness of an area can be judged by its traffic flow (or the lack of it,rather). So, if you think K.L is dead cool, well then, Klang is six feet down cool too.

Have you been in any of our huge mofo jams? The daily ones that begin just after Samy's one ringgit toll into Klang at about 6pm? The type that keeps you on the road for over an hour, even though home is 3 minutes away? The kind that stretch your vocab a little? The kind that makes you listen to every CD in your collection? Or alternatively, the type that forces you to keep abreast with national news coz thats the only fucking thing playing on the blasted radio at 7pm?

And by the way, it's probably the only place in this country that condones illegal logging. Don't believe me? Come to Jalan Mengkuang and I'll give you a tour worthy of Visit Malaysia Year 2006's itenary of activities.

We have the crime busting smart force, and breed of traffic policemen whose job description is a one liner: Berdiri tegak setempat macam tiang, tongek buntut dan lambai sekali-sekala.

So girls, why are you ashamed to say, "Hi, I'm Lydia from Klang" to the dudes at Waikiki?