On My Own
I've done a thorough examination of my body; every limb, every lump and every fold- yet I cant seem to find that much talked about expiry date stamped anywhere.
So what is this everyone's rambling about?
I remember being quite content being man-less, very content actually when my last relationship ended some 2 years ago-not that the absence of the boyfriend was the main reason of my silent rejoices. It was more of the dynamics of the relationship and the differing individual needs that caused the rift because honestly, we were both good people- he that and a lot more.
However, hearing the "You'd better get yourself a man before it's too late" line more than 4 times the past month has somewhat sent me into a worry flurry. And it doesn't help that too many (same aged) people that I know are officially getting together. A good friend of mine is getting engaged next week, another at the end of the year.
Uma,26 (not her real name) is getting married this month-yeah, she's 26, and 26 IS the average acceptable age for marriage these days. The thing that gets to me is Uma is not mentally 26, Uma has a 'reputation' worth mentioning and Uma is a brat with a serious attitude problem. She will always stay in my mind as the girl who scants on her clothes just to get a second glance from even the coolies.How she will ever run a home and raise little terrors is something worth putting my life on hold to watch.
Well, back to the previous paragraph, I'm naturally thrilled for these friends of mine-not just because I've got reasons to get all pretty. I know that their choices have been thoroughly scrutinised (reckon there's a better word, but I'm just too bloody lazy).
We've seen too many broken engagements (the irony that these always happens to couples that celebrate them lavishly truly baffles me) and I dont want my personal circle of acquaintances to be part of the nasty statistics.
Anyway, I've always prided myself in being independant and firm footed, albeit a lil bit of an emotional drama queen at times-come on, we all have that side to us,the only variable is its degree of severity- hence, I'm convinced that though I may not top the list of Women Most Desirable, my name is there. Somewhere.Therefore, the possibility of being a single,bitter and shrivelled 65 year old hag is something I refuse to believe in.
Then why is it I don't have eligible men pounding down my doors?
Coz you're fussy.
Coz you're not approachable.
Coz you're confused.
Coz you're intimidating.
Coz you're too judgemental.
Coz you're looking for perfection.
That's what my friends will tell you, but I (the one person who knows me best) would beg to differ.
Yes, I have my specifications, who doesn't? However, that does not mean that I'm fussy or judgemental. It just simply means that I have a pretty defined idea of what I want.And I'm not looking for perfection-just near perfection :)
He may be a club singer and he can have 6 fingers, I really dont care, but there must exist an unexplainable mangga-dan-kunci-like chemistry.And for the record, I am NOT intimadating, I just have a very unapproachable face. I can't change what The Mighty One intended, so deal with it.
And being angry and sad at the same time over the same issue does not equate to confusion.
I can't stand people who greet with Hai, instead of a Hi or a Hey-if you wanna call that being judgemental, I can't stop you now, can I?
Won't Jeevan have something to say now.
There's a certain thrill of making a uninterested person fall madly for you. And thats how I turn the ernest suitors away-never intentionally though.Sure, they're sweet and kind everything nice, but it's B-O-R-I-N-G.Yes, I'm mad.
I hate to occasionally hear my mom read out the personals and the aunts/girly friends lament at the fact that I don't have a foreign arm around my waist. I get annoyed at the queries of marriage.I mean, who the hell am I gonna marry if I dont have a boyfriend? Plainly, its a stupid question to ask.I will not believe that I cannot find my own man.Damn. What kinda ego bruise would that be?
Yes, the brokers may have noble intentions, and there are days where I wish I had someone to share good times with. The endless nagging from the inhabitants of my little world doesn't make the loneliness easier-BUT I will not succumb to it.
I will find that near perfect person.
On my own.
At fourty, perhaps :)
Till then, I'll remain optimistic.
So what is this everyone's rambling about?
I remember being quite content being man-less, very content actually when my last relationship ended some 2 years ago-not that the absence of the boyfriend was the main reason of my silent rejoices. It was more of the dynamics of the relationship and the differing individual needs that caused the rift because honestly, we were both good people- he that and a lot more.
However, hearing the "You'd better get yourself a man before it's too late" line more than 4 times the past month has somewhat sent me into a worry flurry. And it doesn't help that too many (same aged) people that I know are officially getting together. A good friend of mine is getting engaged next week, another at the end of the year.
Uma,26 (not her real name) is getting married this month-yeah, she's 26, and 26 IS the average acceptable age for marriage these days. The thing that gets to me is Uma is not mentally 26, Uma has a 'reputation' worth mentioning and Uma is a brat with a serious attitude problem. She will always stay in my mind as the girl who scants on her clothes just to get a second glance from even the coolies.How she will ever run a home and raise little terrors is something worth putting my life on hold to watch.
Well, back to the previous paragraph, I'm naturally thrilled for these friends of mine-not just because I've got reasons to get all pretty. I know that their choices have been thoroughly scrutinised (reckon there's a better word, but I'm just too bloody lazy).
We've seen too many broken engagements (the irony that these always happens to couples that celebrate them lavishly truly baffles me) and I dont want my personal circle of acquaintances to be part of the nasty statistics.
Anyway, I've always prided myself in being independant and firm footed, albeit a lil bit of an emotional drama queen at times-come on, we all have that side to us,the only variable is its degree of severity- hence, I'm convinced that though I may not top the list of Women Most Desirable, my name is there. Somewhere.Therefore, the possibility of being a single,bitter and shrivelled 65 year old hag is something I refuse to believe in.
Then why is it I don't have eligible men pounding down my doors?
Coz you're fussy.
Coz you're not approachable.
Coz you're confused.
Coz you're intimidating.
Coz you're too judgemental.
Coz you're looking for perfection.
That's what my friends will tell you, but I (the one person who knows me best) would beg to differ.
Yes, I have my specifications, who doesn't? However, that does not mean that I'm fussy or judgemental. It just simply means that I have a pretty defined idea of what I want.And I'm not looking for perfection-just near perfection :)
He may be a club singer and he can have 6 fingers, I really dont care, but there must exist an unexplainable mangga-dan-kunci-like chemistry.And for the record, I am NOT intimadating, I just have a very unapproachable face. I can't change what The Mighty One intended, so deal with it.
And being angry and sad at the same time over the same issue does not equate to confusion.
I can't stand people who greet with Hai, instead of a Hi or a Hey-if you wanna call that being judgemental, I can't stop you now, can I?
Won't Jeevan have something to say now.
There's a certain thrill of making a uninterested person fall madly for you. And thats how I turn the ernest suitors away-never intentionally though.Sure, they're sweet and kind everything nice, but it's B-O-R-I-N-G.Yes, I'm mad.
I hate to occasionally hear my mom read out the personals and the aunts/girly friends lament at the fact that I don't have a foreign arm around my waist. I get annoyed at the queries of marriage.I mean, who the hell am I gonna marry if I dont have a boyfriend? Plainly, its a stupid question to ask.I will not believe that I cannot find my own man.Damn. What kinda ego bruise would that be?
Yes, the brokers may have noble intentions, and there are days where I wish I had someone to share good times with. The endless nagging from the inhabitants of my little world doesn't make the loneliness easier-BUT I will not succumb to it.
I will find that near perfect person.
On my own.
At fourty, perhaps :)
Till then, I'll remain optimistic.
3 Comments:
I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog
http://www.juicyfruiter.blogspot.com
Here I am, almost 30 and single and available. I love being on my own single self right now. Totally understand what ur thoughts are. I also want to find someone who is close to perfect for me. And even though it may mean I may be 40 (or 50) years old,I remain optimistic.
I am sure u will find that special one! @nu
Then again, one should perhaps be at peace with themselves and find that Love actually, is over rated. There is no "knight in shining armour riding on a white horse". Not for me at least. At times a girl does curse the tons of story books she gorged herself with in the yesteryears, preparing herself for "romantic doom".
Suffer me my thoughts or delusions, but it is easier to stay alone than to have to live down your expectations and "settle" for something passable as a "good candidate" for marriage. And to have to wake yourself in the morning, stare at the shared mirror in the shared bathroom, realizing to yourself "What a Bloody Hypocrite you've been woman"...
Sigh. Pass me the Kleenex. Nostalgia's a broken record in my CD of emotions.
Post a Comment
<< Home