could it be?
I've never seen myself as a person with an eating disorder.Maybe that's because anyone would think that someone with bulimia,severe or not,would be stick thin.But I'm not.A long way from there actually.
"Anucia,you're smarter than this",I tell my self each time the tears stream down my cheeks as i hover above the bowl.I panic when I gasp for breath when the mashed,clumpy food refuse to come out,stuck in my throat threatening to choke me.Flash,and I remember this story my cousin told me about a bulimic girl in the UK who died of a heart attack during one of her after-indulgence sessions."It'll never happen to me",I dismiss the anxiousness,and automatically it comes out.I tell myself, "It's all in your mind.You'd never die throwing up.What stupid headlines it'll make".I look into the mirror and see a tear-streaked,red-eyed soul trapped in the body of a whale.
The thing is...food is my greatest weakness and i don't have the discipline to follow a strict diet for more than three days.
I refuse to see a problem in what I'm doing,though there's a gnawing feeling eating at my conscience.Is this denial?If it is,then it's true that bulimia and aneroxia is a mental illness.Hah!I'm a psycho.
But why do I continue to criticise and scorn at the stick thin ppl and those who conform to the public's idea of physical perfection?
"Anucia,you're smarter than this",I tell my self each time the tears stream down my cheeks as i hover above the bowl.I panic when I gasp for breath when the mashed,clumpy food refuse to come out,stuck in my throat threatening to choke me.Flash,and I remember this story my cousin told me about a bulimic girl in the UK who died of a heart attack during one of her after-indulgence sessions."It'll never happen to me",I dismiss the anxiousness,and automatically it comes out.I tell myself, "It's all in your mind.You'd never die throwing up.What stupid headlines it'll make".I look into the mirror and see a tear-streaked,red-eyed soul trapped in the body of a whale.
The thing is...food is my greatest weakness and i don't have the discipline to follow a strict diet for more than three days.
I refuse to see a problem in what I'm doing,though there's a gnawing feeling eating at my conscience.Is this denial?If it is,then it's true that bulimia and aneroxia is a mental illness.Hah!I'm a psycho.
But why do I continue to criticise and scorn at the stick thin ppl and those who conform to the public's idea of physical perfection?
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