a frustrated malaysian shopper

I don't know about you guys, but somehow I feel that the clothes in stores
here in this country only fit sticks. Since I'm the total opposite of a
stick (some would say uhmm...well-endowed though I personally beg to
differ), you can probably imagine how terrified I am of the fitting room.
Each visit leaves me feeling fat, ugly and humongous. Simply put, once I
step out of the room my confidence level goes down to zero. Even though I
get lotsa compliments from guy friends about my figure (okay, okay. I have
big boobs and a wide arse and no, I'm not bragging) I know for a fact that
they'd choose a surfboard look-alike over me to be their girlfriend anytime.
Honest. All those voluptuous women can just stay in the X-rated mags and
videos where they belong.

Okay, going back to the clothing issue. Why is it so damn difficult for me
and my likes to get clothes these days? The other day I was in a store and I
noticed that every piece of clothing that I picked up, I never seemed to
find the L-sized one. Curious, I asked the sales assistant and she smugly
said, "we only have S and M, because most girls nowadays are slim and thin
loh". I could have wrung her neck there and then but sanity got the better
of me. She should bloody well thank her lucky stars coz it sure did save her
from seeing stars. There are some out there who absolutely love slyly
torturing the non-perfect ones (read tall, anorexic looking, snow-white,
dainty feet and hands, hairless arms and legs and perfect long, straight and
shiny hair).

Call me a sour puss, maybe I am but that's exactly how I feel. Each time I
walk pass an apparel store I always have to control myself from getting too
excited, especially when I spot an absolutely gorgeous item. I see a frilly
Liz Hurley dress on the shelf that looks like it would fit perfectly and
after much persuasion to try it on, I do, only to discover that the zip just
won't go up after the waist. Why? I covered that in the first paragraph.
Trying the next larger size, the zip does go up but there's so much of extra
frills at the hips, I could sew a curtain for my bedroom window. Well, it's
either too big or too small, but 99.9% of the time it's too small. I was
grumbling to my sister about this and you know what she told me? "Why don't
you try the maternity store?" I guess I have to start considering that; the
rate things are going.

My cousins who are studying in Australia and the UK were down during the
August sale season and they just didn't want to go shopping for clothes
here. According to them (I absolutely agree with them on this), it's just
too depressing. They wouldn't mind paying much, much more for clothes that
fit perfectly and that don't end up making you feel like a stuffed turkey.
XXXXL in this country is still S in my world, so just save the characters on
the labels, people! Do like what some stores do, no size description at all!
Everything is free-sized, even skirts and jeans, coz they stretch. Yeah,
like ONE CENTIMETRE! I wanna list these stores down, but I might get sued
for defamation or something (hah, too much of 'The Practice'). But some of
you may know what kinda stores I'm talking about.

Walking along the streets of Perth, Australia two years back, I couldn't
have been more happy coz I actually fit into an S-sized top and an S/M
skirt. Now, that's what I call therapeutic shopping. And the sales
assistants there were angels; kind and polite and would definitely put ours
to shame. Since I've got the makings of the next Emelda Marcos, shoes are
the next most important item on my shopping list and boy, was I ecstatic
when I discovered that in Perth, I didn't have to ask "apa saiz paling besar
you ada?" Shoes there went up to sizes 14 and I was a 6, when all the while
here I've been an 8.

So back in Malaysia, I was ever so grateful when Miss Selfridge, Topshop and
MANGO came along. Yeah, they cost a bomb, but who cares? It fits! And the
chance of bumping into someone who's wearing the same thing is much smaller,
definitely.

Oh, and don't let me start on the undergarments department. One look at my
overwhelming assets and those heartless promoters lead me to the granny
section. There are so many pretty bra's in A cups but the highest they go is
to B. What about C? What about me? Can't I feel sexy too? Why must I stick
to murky brown, skin-coloured, huge Trojan pad-looking ones that make me
look like I'm going to war? Only Wacoal has so far been able to fulfill my
feminine needs, other than that, I head on to Singapore to get the stuff I
need coz I don't think walking around braless is a pretty sight. Sometimes I
wonder at the insensitivity of those in charge of importing these things.

Well, frankly I don't think that it's advisable for us oversized ones to go
shopping in Malaysia if we're depressed, coz it's far from soothing. You'll
just end up sinking deeper into your unstable emotions. ..In the meantime,
I'll just stick to jeans and oversized tee's.